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One Last Time

June 12, 2017

 

This poem is Rafael's second contribution to our blog.  Rafael  is a formerly incarcerated individual committed to disrupting the Prison Industrial Complex. He is a JustLeadershipUSA Emerging Leader and member of their Closerikers Campaign in partnership with the Katal Center for Health, Equity and Justice.

 

About this piece he says, “The reason why or how I came up with this piece was because an associate of mine is currently volunteering their time at ‘Rosie’s’, the Rose M. Singer Center women’s facility on on Rikers Island. So he was telling me what he was doing with the students (a literary class)and it just bought me back to that time and place when I was incarcerated.”

(like in prison, there is explicit content)

 

One last time
I will subject myself to the Hatred that plague mankind's heart
One last time
I won't think about my loves one's and the way they might feel...about my actions
One last time
I will allow years to fly by right before my eyes till I see my child again
One last time
I will lose everything I gained, from a rushed decision
One last time
Will I see myself cry, because of chain of events, I set into action
One last time
Will I lose, the one's I love
One last time
Will a 6 minutes phone call, be my only communication to the outside world
One last time
Will I have another man tell me, when I can or can't use the fucking bathroom
One last time
Will I be on the count
One last time
Will I be a stain on society
One last time
I will be a liability instead of an asset
One last time
Will I eat a cop out sandwich
One last time
Would I allow, another man to see my mother fucking balls
One last time
Will I have to cry after a 45 minute visit
One last time
That my woman will leave me and I can't blame her
One last time
My children will forget about me
One last time
My life will cease to exist
One last time
I would have to bow down to a lesser man
One last time
Will I leap with out looking
One last time
I will speak out of place
One last time
Would I look in the mirror and not be happy with what I see
One last time
Will I allow another man to take what is mines
One last time
I will make everybody who ever talked shit about me, or did me wrong eat shit for breakfast.

One last time…
 

Rafael L Carrera

Closerikers.org

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